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Strap-on, Strap-off

July 20, 2011


 

All the lesbians I have spoken to on an intimate level have a deep rooted desire to “give it” to their girl. I can’t say I am the exception. We all have the desire to make our partner scream like the chicks in the first porno we watched during our impressionable early teens. The interesting thing is that being women, we still conform to the macho mentality fed to us through the straight media. We want to avoid all the mental pre-gaming and just do it. There’s a supposed power that comes along with a strap on and I think it’s usually a bunch of bullshit. My girlfriend’s hands have more power in them than anything in the world. That being said, a strap on is a good ol’ time and I’m just a prude (ok, scared) beginner. It bothers me to think that my partner and I aren’t confident enough in our roles to put aside the temporary giggles for a kinky night. Plus, staring at her for an hour before either of us making a move is getting painful. I rather just whip it out. Maybe Id say something incredibly insensitive like “suck it”.

We once reached the stage of sitting in front of the computer and searching through strap on sites. All I knew was that I wanted something pretty, girly, and nothing resembling an actual part of the male anatomy. A harness with a bow is nice, or a dildo sporting a plastic heart. If you want to screw me, you have to wear your heart on your dildo. As we sat in awkward silence I realized this is something we should have gotten out of the way in the beginning. I tend to have sexual regrets due to this being my first real relationship with a woman. I regret how timid I was, doubting that I could please somebody with so much experience. I should have gone down on her as soon as I realized I wanted to (which would have meant throwing her into a bathroom stall at an amusement park the first time we hung out). I should have gotten ahead if you will, before I even met her. I have always been a little scared of my interactions with girls. They make me feel vulnerable. So here I am, ten years after realizing I should be going down, finally comfortable with my oral skills. So why can’t I learn from my past, bite the bullet and embrace all the options?

A strap-on may reignite the fiery passion that her and I feel for one another, but seems to appear only in a drunken foreign land such as my parents sofa bed. Or should our sex be amazing prior to introducing anything that can induce self-consciousness? Whatever the case, I don’t think insecurities have a place in between the sheets and I’m kicking mine to the curb. A strap-on can’t hurt anybody (at least not with the right lube). I’ll order one, gift wrap the package, and then give it to her. I’ll let you know how and where it goes.

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3 Comments leave one →
  1. awordgrl permalink
    July 22, 2011 4:24 am

    Don’t feel any pressure to use a strap on if you don’t feel comfortable about it. Personally, for me it’s not about the accessories. But some women love them. If your girl likes them, then it will be easy for you. Are you sure she’s interested in using one? Not all women want that. Good luck. I am sure you will work it out.

  2. July 23, 2011 10:20 pm

    Well, we did use it.. once. It will be in my next blog I’m sure! I personally don’t care about strap-ons at all, it just bothers me that I know she has liked them in the past and doesn’t feel confident or kinky enough to do it with me. I don’t at all require strap on sex, to me lesbian sex is perfect in its natural state. I just think it’s something to make things fun once in a while, which I would have never cared about two years ago before things got a little repetative.

  3. July 26, 2011 2:41 pm

    I am like you. I was in hetero-relationships my entire life. I messed around with girls. I got hot and bothered by girls, but all my long-term relationships were with men. Women made me feel….at ease…and I trusted them…and I knew somewhere in the back of my mind that a woman was what I was really looking for…but it was men that I kept getting picked up by. They were easier. And expendable. I know that makes me sound horrible, but it was kind of how my thought process worked. Granted… I tried to love each of these men..but never fell IN love with them.

    Fast Forward to NOW and I am married to the most amazing woman I have ever known. She is an amazing friend, woman, wife, and OHMIGOD what a lover. That being said…she likes toys. She has used them on all her previous partners. But all her previous partners were full-on lesbians. When we play with strap ons I get nervous that she is thinking about the men that I have been with previously and then I lose that lusty look and then she starts worrying that I am worrying – and the moment is gone.

    We have not used one in quite some time…but I want to. I want to use the strap on with her. But she is butchier than me and not so into getting done as doing…ya know??

    http://www.oatestosow.blogspot.com

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