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Fry me up some eggs, will ya babe?

July 24, 2011
Wife. I’ve grown to really hate the word. I don’t care for houses, or kids. I don’t care for budgeting or cleaning. I just care. I fall in love with a person. Then, once I become emotionally and financially tied to the person beyond comprehension, filling the home with countless dependant companion pets, I fall out of love with the situation.
 
Our generation is very confused, through no fault of our own. We were raised on romantic comedies and Sex and the City. Sex and the City is supposed to be able minded single gals who don’t need partners and are rich and happy all on their own. The clothes and hip apartments plant that seed in our head, only to cover it with the soil of the real truth; you are nothing without love. The love of your friends won’t do, and the love of your family is only a close second. There must be some truth to the latter, as mammals have been partnering up for life… well, since the beginning of life.
 
Like so many of us, I have not been single since my sophomore year of college. I am embarking on my 30th birthday in a mentally draining state of confusion. I have been with my partner for about two and a half years now, living together for two. She is slightly younger than me and much more mature (although no more sane). She wants to build a better more secure life together, really get our adult heads on straight. I already feel settled down. I am monogamous, I work, and I don’t let the bills go overdue (too often). Yet, I really want to put on the skimpy black dress (preferably one that Sarah Jessica Parker would wear) and go out on the town more often than not. Am I an alcoholic, or a stifled socialite?
 
I’m also the type of woman who hates the word partner. I prefer to have a lover. A committed and steady lover, a generous lover, a lover who is my best friend. Once a partnership exists it’s difficult to go on a date. It becomes dinner. That’s another word I hate; dinner. Screw dinner, let’s eat and laugh. Then, I want to argue about who is going to let who pay. The person who received a free dinner gets to perform sexual favors later in the night. Is this scenario possible after three years together? I’m not sure, and I almost through my entire bed, frame and all, out on the curb last night. Along with the same stupid frying pan we have made hundreds of meals on.
 
Wives even get spoken to differently. In fact, they get spoken to. Girlfriends get spoken about. When I was a girlfriend I don’t recall hearing the word fuck directed at me, unless it was in the bedroom. Now here is the confusing part, do I successfully speak to my partner like a girlfriend opposed to a wife? I try, I was raised to treat others blah blah blah. Sometimes I think I’ve lost hope. That I will just stick to this bed, this frying pan, and these God damn freaking eggs.
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One Comment leave one →
  1. July 25, 2011 9:34 pm

    I love this post. I think everyone feels the way you do at some point or another in a long term relationship. The difference is that you are acknowledging those feelings and seem comfortable speaking about them. It’s a beautiful thing to be involved with someone that you can honestly communicate with. If your girlfriend is open to the suggestion, why not have a date night a few times a month? I think the issue is, comfort. People just get comfortable. The newness of the situation wears off and people forget to keep it exciting and sincere and sweet. However, as long as you two can communicate with one another, you’ll be golden 😉

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